I wasn’t prepared, sitting at my desk at work, eating left-over  shepherd’s pie and scarfing cold coffee…to start crying.

I WAS going to suck up my lunch break watching trailers for movies I don’t get around to seeing until they’re on Netflix.  Instead, I fake sneezed and withdrew to the ladies to try and de-blotch my eyes.

I’d come across this video  from www.foodallergy.org.

I’m not connected with them in anyway, but for obvious reasons, when I fall into a research/panic hole about all this stuff, I often end up on a path that leads to their resources.

This video wrecked me.  This is it. This is what it’s like and will be like for my kid and my family. These kids are my kid at various stages of development, and these parents have the same fears and necessary protocols and feelings of guilt and anxiety that we do.

I used to be a pretty chill parent (relatively speaking), but it’s hard not to let the type-A terror demon loose when half of what the food guide recommends your kid to eat, could kill her.  I cried because these families get it, and we don’t really know anyone in our circle who really does. It’s not a lack of empathy or interest. It’s just a lot to take in and work into your life, and like many other conditions, it’s hard to fully grasp unless you’re in it. I know I never did.

If you want a little slice of what it’s like to be in the head space of a parent with a kid who has life-threatening allergies, this is it.  The creepy stranger that lurks in the back yard where your kid plays, the boogey man that’s hiding behind every corner…Parents and kids have different ways of describing the feeling where everything is suspect. I can usually roll with the notion that “it could be worse”, but it’s always possible that it couldn’t be, and that’s what makes it hard.

To those who’ve shared their experiences in this video and others like it, thanks! It always helps to know you’re not the only ones.

NOTE: FARE (Food Allergy Research and Education) has a whole “Food for Thought” video series that’s worth checking out.